Stretch Out!
February 14, 2020

     Deacon had me pegged.  And clearly he knew something I didn't: that the most authentic self I could assemble at the tender age of 18 was needed (needed!) in a place I could barely imagine – a place, moreover, that did not seem at all consistent with my emerging authentic self.

     Did he also know that that very incongruity would provide fertile soil from which a more mature version of my most authentic self could arise, years later?  Did he know that I needed to stretch that "simple, poetry-slinging, horse-and-Jesus-loving girl" beyond herself in order to find  her best self, to live into her best life?  I think so.

     This is why, when people say things like, "Follow your passions," "Live your dreams," "Follow your heart," or "Stay true to yourself," I cringe a little on the inside and think, Ehhh . . .it might not be that simple.  Especially when the recipient of the message is a teenager or a twenty-something, I think, No, you might actually need to do something that doesn't fit you at all, or doesn't seem to, anyhow.  You might need to do a bunch of somethings like that.  You might need to get beyond yourself, over yourself, out of your own way.  You might need to lose yourself for a while in order to find your best self later.

     Sure, you need to have some sense as a young person of what you love to do – or at least what wakes you up a bit and makes you feel a little (or a lot) more alive.  It doesn't have to set your heart or your brain on fire necessarily, but it should be something that draws you in and engages you more fully than anything else, preferably in both body and mind.  Extended devotion to a few things like this in childhood and early adulthood will give you your basic lifeline.  And you need a lifeline. 

     So keep a pulse on those things, but don't be afraid to try others or to hone your devotions in unusual or unexpected ways or places.

     And it should go without saying – but I'm going to say it anyway – that you don't have to go to Harvard or law school to do this.  Those just happened to be a couple of the key places where I, by luck or by grace, got to stretch myself beyond myself.  But that kind of stretching can be done almost anywhere if you have your eyes open to the possibilities, to any shred of luck or grace you can find lying around, and if you make space and time to examine and explore them.

     Go forth, in other words, and stretch out!