Syllabus for Distance Learning - Day 4
March 19, 2020

    And finally, here are the "self-help" books on my list. "Self-help" is such a catch-all category, running the gamut from spiritual-inspirational material to business advice, with a lot of quasi-psychology in between, that it's really hard to tell what's worthwhile and what's drivel.  This is why I don't spend much time reading in this genre.

    But every now and then, something catches my attention over the noise.  These are the best of those, from the last ten years of my general reading.

    12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson (2018):

   First of all, let me say: Peterson is dead wrong on his analysis of gender and gender roles.  I'm stipulating to this.  And when I say he's dead wrong, I'm not saying that there are no elements of his gender analysis that are correct.  There may be some, probably are some, in fact.  What I'm saying is, he analyzes gender using a woefully incomplete set of tools – so the product is necessarily and fundamentally flawed.  Peterson's work is largely within the Jungian school of psychology, which is great in many respects and constitutes a source of much actionable wisdom (which is why most of the rest of Peterson's book is extremely worthwhile). But trying to say something true and useful about gender with only the tools of literary and psychological archetypes is to ignore the essential role that the lived experiences of non-male and non-heterosexual people, both now and through history, must play in any effort to make sense of gender.

   Okay, so that said, only one other criticism: skip the introduction.  I don't know why Peterson's editor let him get away with indulging his ego here – especially when there is so much valuable thought and analysis in the rest of the book (notwithstanding the gender chapter).  I think, maybe, Peterson was trying to show how hard-earned the "rules" set forth in the book were for him, and to somehow thereby lend them additional credence and weight.  But their value speaks for itself in the chapters, and, if anything, I fear Peterson's self-indulgent introduction will be sufficiently off-putting that readers will not press through to the rules themselves – and that would be very unfortunate.

   In 12 Rules, Peterson draws on his several decades of research and practice as a clinical and academic psychologist, as well as his own personal experience of putting himself through a hero's journey of intense study and self-improvement, to distill some of the best and most practical wisdom for our society today.  Yeah, I know he's been taken up as a champion of the so-called "alt-right", but I think that's bullshit (although I recognize that in his public speaking engagements Peterson sometimes get caught up in the bullshit).  But if you actually read his work and listen to recordings of his public lectures, what he's telling his "alt-right" fans is not "alt-right" at all.  He calls for some profound introspection and personal transformation, the point of which is to radiate outward to make for a more loving, hospitable, and life-affirming world.  Now, he's seen enough darkness in his practice to know that for some, the hero's journey never reaches that positive result.  For some, just putting a stop their own basic malevolence demands their entire store of heroism.  But that is his basic message: Yes, let's make the world a better place, but let's start by getting control of our demons, by setting our own internal houses in order.  Let me give you some tips for that.

    Lastly, let me say this: if you read nothing else from this book, read Rule 8, Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie.  It is the best explanation of the connection between truth and freedom that I have ever encountered, and if you really understand it, you are likely to be terrified at the peril that we now face as communities, as nations, and as a species on this planet, as a result of our waning commitment to telling the truth – or at least not lying – in all things, even in the smallest most private matters.   

    Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by              Brene Brown (2015):

    And speaking of telling the truth: Dr. Brene Brown's basic insight in this book – the follow-up to her much-celebrated Daring Greatly – is that we almost never tell ourselves the truth about our circumstances at first, and that we have to learn to push through the untruths we shield ourselves with, if we want to be better spouses, parents, leaders, and people generally.  When confronted with difficult situations, almost all of us, unless we have consciously trained ourselves otherwise (and sometimes despite such training), make up a "shitty first draft" of what's going on – a draft that is almost always based on some form of self-protection, some form of hiding or denying our vulnerabilities rather than transforming them into something strong and beautiful.  

   Whether we see ourselves as writers or not, Brown teaches, all of us are continually writing and revising the story of ourselves in our heads, all the time.  As humans, we are deeply and fundamentally wired for story-telling, so we never cease weaving our own narrative, sometimes for good but usually to ill-effect – both individually and collectively.  What we need to do is, first, to become conscious of this process, and then to take responsibility for it, by digging beneath the surface of our shitty first drafts – our initial understandings of what is going on with our relationships or our work or our communities.  What we need to do is learn to revise our stories about ourselves, both individually and collectively, as a means of tapping the strength necessary to transform our circumstances.  This requires honestly reckoning and wrestling with our vulnerabilities.  

   If we have been reluctant to do this before, our current circumstances demand it with fresh urgency.  All of Brene Brown's books are particularly relevant to the crisis now unfolding before us, but this one may be the most immediately useful for helping us find a path through.  I recommend reading it as a matter of doing your part, in this time of challenge and beyond.